Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Today's Most Notable

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1) I went to get my nails done today. Towards the end of the appointment, when no one else is in the salon, I set down the magazine and the technician sees this as the key to start talking. I swear that the following is verbatim what was said.

Her English is not good, so I try and keep things simple.

Her: What is your job?
Me: I work for the government.
Her: What do you do in the government?
Me: (um, I want her to shut up...so I will make my job sound scarier than it is.) I do investigations.
Her: Oh! I have an investigation right now!
Me: (shit.)
Her: I have been waiting to find out about it for a year. You need to help me. Why is it taking so long?
Me: (what the hell is she talking about?) I don't think it's the same kind of investigations that I do. I'm sure I cannot help you.
Her: Why aren't I a citizen yet? I have been waiting. I talked to my Congresswoman and she sent 3 letters but I am still waiting. You need to help me.
Me: Yeah, I definitely don't know anything about that. Keep talking to your Congresswoman.
Her: You need to talk to the Congresswoman. Here is the name of the woman who signed my citizenship papers. Ask her why I am waiting.
Me: Again, I don't know her. I cannot help you.
Her: Look her up on the internet and call her. She kept asking about my husband's family, but I divorced him 2 years ago. I don't remember his family's names. It was so long ago! I don't want to remember them.
Me: (can't or don't want to? big difference.) You need to remember because that's important for the investigation.
Her: I can't remember because I have a baby now and I had a c-section.
Me: (oh. my. God. this is not happening to me.) The c-section made you lose your memory?
Her: Yes. I cannot even remember my birthday!
Me: Ok, I really cannot help you. Investigations take a long time. And I need to get going, so please go back to working on my nails.
Her: But I have been waiting. I am so tired at the end of the day because I have a job and a baby and the waiting.
Me: (someone please set this place on fire right this minute.)


This continued until I paid with my credit card, which she used to write down my name and asked when I was coming back to tell her when she would be a citizen.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Today's Most Notable

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1) I was exposed to the flu. I'm so upset about it that I cannot fall asleep and am therefore writing this post.

2) Some girls in my building had a dance party at 4am. Although I applaud their spirit and it did make me smile, it did not need to happen with the windows open or continue for 30 minutes. Go to The Note next time, k?

3) I found a gift for my dad to give to my mom for Christmas. Now I just need to find the rest of the gifts my dad will give my mom. This has been my job for the last 3 or 4 years. The only problem this year was that he asked "What size?"

Whoa, that is NOT my job.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Today's Most Notable

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1) I put "toothbrush sanitizer" on my Christmas list. Toothbrushes have always skeeved me out, so I'm really glad I flipped through the Brookstone catalog this week.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Today's Most Notable

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1) During a morning meeting, I got a compliment from my boss on how well I was leading the team...and then about 20 minutes later we realized that I'd forgotten to invite someone on the team to the meeting. FML.

2) At lunchtime, I bit into my bread from Cosi (you know, the flatbread that comes with salads) and started choking. I pulled it out of the paper bag it comes in and the entire piece had had a container of salt dumped on it. Seriously. I tried wiping the salt off and it was still a coating of white on the bread. Garbage.

3) When I got off the bus after my commute home, I was waiting to cross the street and another bus going the opposite direction hit a puddle and water kicked up all the way over to my side of the street and landed directly on my stomach. Thank you God for reminding me that I was too hungover to go to church on Sunday. It won't happen again.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Today's Most Notable

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1) I lick my lips when I'm stressed. My lips right now are raw.

2) I'm planning on making this tomorrow. But I'm excited about it tonight, so that counts as one of today's most notable, right? I'm also excited about the sparkling water currently chilling in my fridge. It's my new obsession. Which probably means carbonation will either make me fat or give me cancer.




Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Today's Most Notable

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1) My 16 year-old brother had given me a Starbucks card recently as a gift. I used it for the first time today (even had to peel off that 'please remove before using' sticker). It turns out the card had a grand total of 36 cents on it. Not sure how that was supposed to pay me back for the $13 McDonald's breakfast you ate, bro...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Today's Most Notable

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1) You know how they say you should write down what's bothering you in a letter/email because it will make you feel better? They really need to emphasize the "and don't send it" part of that advice. And put the "Send" and "Cancel" buttons further apart. Sheesh.

2) Homemade chocolate mousse should be outlawed. So should diets. But while I'm waiting...YUM.

3) I'm really enjoying The Secret Scripture by Sebastian Barry. Irish writers FTW!

4) Outside of #1, this blog post is totally lame.